Meet the Characters
Here you’ll find information on some of the residents of Rudville, Texas.
Click on the characters’ pictures to find comics with them!
John Alex Mark, “Jam” – Mutton Chopped Fellow
A 20 year old fellow who was born on Halloween with no serious ambitions in life other than to enjoy it. He likes to meet people at bus stops. He has lived with his girlfriend Kate ever since his parents kicked him out.
Jam is terrified of Kate’s father, Smith, and her brother, Micheal. However, he has a strong and reciprocated affection for Kate’s mother, seeing her as a sort of adopted mother.
Jam likes computer games, talking with a thawed out caveman he befriended and sleeping. Jam’s best friend is Mary, who is like a sister to him, which is awkward because he is infatuated with her mother.
Jam currently works as an assistant for Mr. Warren.
Jenny Kate Flour – Sarcastic, Intolerant, Emotionless
Kate is a 20 year old girl with a lot of judgmental things to say and little incentive to say it. Though Australian, she lacks the ludicrous accent that plagues her family.
With muted emotions, Kate’s clear head tells her one very important thing, and it is that almost nothing is worth reacting to emotionally. Rarely has Kate ever smiled, cried, or become angry at someone, but she’s certainly displayed sarcastic derision just about every day of her life.
She is Jam’s girlfriend, and it’s not uncommon for her to demean him. She can get quite intimate with him if she’s in the right mood, though.
Kate’s only real friend is Mary, she barely acknowledges Rachel’s existence, and she hates doctors. Despite his hatred for Jam, Kate loves her brother Micheal very much and literally jumps at him whenever he visits.
Diane Simone Flour – “Deary, deary, deary”
Diane is Kate and Micheal’s 46 year old mother, and she’s the mother you wish you had. Sweet, charming, loving and caring, Diane cares for her daughter and son very much. Diane adores Jam and thinks of him as the perfect match for Kate.
Diane has a strong Australia accent, and affectionately calls those she cares for “deary.” She works at Purti Pastries along with Mary and Beth.
Haxon Smith Flour – Giant Grumpy Gus
Smith is the 50 year old father to Kate and Micheal. He is an extremely disagreeable person, and is a giant of a man. Originally a hunter and factory worker in Australia, he now works in a hunting shop in Rudville. He occasionally hunts with his children.
Smith despises Jam, thinking him as lazy, stupid and disloyal. Despite this, he holds his tongue at his wife’s request, lest “Wednesday Night” be cancelled.
Smith has an outrageous Australian accent, wears a shark-tooth necklace (from a shark he caught, killed, ate part of, stuffed and mounted himself), and fears no man. He does however fear his wife.
Susan Mary Purti – Perpetually Content Cutie
With a petite and childlike appearance, Mary is a 19 year old sweetheart whose cheerful demeanor never seems to fade. She isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed, but she’s not one to give up easily either. Mary works for her mother in their diner, Purti Pastries, while attending college in her off hours. Early on in Mary’s employment, she had a slight mishap that tainted the entire storeroom of the diner. Now the pastries have “adverse side effects.”
Mary’s best friend is Jam, whose back she occasionally rides on. She’s also “friends” with Kate, but Mary isn’t sure why Kate likes her. She has a blooming friendship with Rachel who tends to treat Mary as a dress up doll.
Mary loves music, the beach, and her favorite color is purple.
Donne Beth Purti – Bad Luck Conduit
Beth is Mary’s single 44 year old mother. Beth’s life has always been surrounded by misfortune, be it large or small. She’s grown to live with it and has even developed a system to help ease her way through every day life. Though others may be left shivering after a bus narrowly misses them, to Beth, it’s just another misfortune she was fully aware of, and simply moved three inches to avoid.
Beth’s bad luck had grown less frequent as of late. Though, with the return of her ex-husband, one might think it’s only getting worse.
Beth is the founder and owner of Purti Pastries, a diner with a bakery hook that she started to support herself when her husband left her. Her daughter works there with her.
Beth has been pestered by Jam’s lust for her since the day they met. Though Beth is flattered, Jam often takes it too far.
Beth would like to one day be featured in her favorite business magazine, Sexy and Successful. She’s actually been accepted twice, but turned it down because she refuses to be called a “cougar.”
Lenard Marcus “Mark” McKavins – “Worm”
“Coward.” “Heartless.” “Bas@&#$.” These are but a few of the ways Beth describes her ex-husband Mark, who left her alone in the hospital just after Mary had been born.
The 47 year old man returned to Rudville 19 years after his daughter’s birth and was not greeted with any kind of warm welcome. While Beth still holds deep contempt for the man, Mary seems a bit more open minded. Regardless of what Beth and Mary think though, Mark claims his only reason for returning is to make amends for his mistakes. Not that Beth cares, of course.
Seemingly always depressed, downtrodden and more than a little unkempt, Mark is a tall and broad man with a deep voice that that can shatter glass and freeze the hearts of the two ladies he’s hurt most in his life.
Susanna Rachel Montgomry – Conniving Brat
Rachel is the spoiled 20 year old daughter of a mob boss in New York. Since running into a debt quarrel, he moved her to Rudville with a Government appointed bodyguard in order to protect her. Protect her from what, who the heck knows.
Although Rachel believes she’s as beautiful as she is rich, she’s no show off. About her beauty that is. She flaunts her riches at any opportunity.
She truly wants to make friends in Rudville, particularly with her bodyguard Micheal, but her bratty attitude deters almost everyone. Rachel likes watches, and almost always wears at least 2 at a time.
Rachel enjoys shopping, occasional chats with Jam, playing dress up with Mary, and shopping some more.
Edward Micheal Flour – Not so Silent and Deadly
Micheal is Kate’s 27 year old brother. Taken in by the FBI for specialized teaching at a young age, Micheal has grown into a strong, brutish but usually calm man. Despite being away from his little sister so often, he is still very protective of her.
Micheal completely disapproves of Kate’s relationship with Jam, thinking she’s much too good for him.
Micheal’s current assignment is to be Rachel’s bodyguard. Why he’s even there, not even he knows. No one attacks her and she’s never in peril, so Micheal overcomes the boredom by annoying his bratty ward in any way he can. On the bright side, his station places him near Kate, whom he visits often.
Micheal has an offensively bad Australian accent, and has at least 5 different weapons concealed underneath his coat.
Alicia “Alice” Shelby Clarken – Hug-addicted Nerd
A sweet, 30 year old lady with a talent for hugging strangers and a job fixing computers, Alice works at the local computer store’s tech support agency, Nerd Alert. A friend to all, Alice always goes in for a hug with anyone she meets. Hugging is, to her, like shaking hands. She’ll hug anyone and anything, including her pet ferret Fuzz, and even the computers she works on.
Though her friends span the globe (she counts her online friends), her closest friends are Jam and her fellow Nerd Alert employee, Mike. Blissfully unaware of, or perhaps simply ignoring Mike’s crush on her, Alice simply doesn’t know how far she wants to take a relationship with Mike.
Alice’s hobbies include hugging, cuddling, snuggling, nuzzling, and video games.
Oh, and she still lives with her parents. Bummer.
Jordan Mike Caesar – Tech Support Agent Codename: Unstable
An emotionally unstable man of 29 years, you’d be hard pressed to see Mike stay in one state of mind for more than five minutes. An agent at Nerd Alert, the tech support division at Rudville’s computer store, Mike deals with people he’d rather not talk to day in and day out. In truth, Mike always wanted to be an engineer, but ended up where he is now due to financial woes.
Mike’s only true friends appear to be Mary, whom he affectionately calls Angel, as she always seems able to brighten his day, and his fellow Nerd Alert employee, Alice. Madly in love with the wide bottomed blond, Mike trembles in her mere presence. He’s unable to speak with her without freezing or fainting, barring his way into her heart.
Mike enjoys few activities, but he does like to tinker in his spare time.
Doctor Shana Dokter Weinhousen – Doctor by day…
Shana is a 25 year old physician from Germany. Through questionable methods, she’s become the most popular doctor in Rudville. She often flirts with her male patients, much to their girlfriends’ or wives’ disgust. She of course convinces them she means no harm, and all is well.
All but one patient enjoys Shana’s service, and that would be Kate, who isn’t fond of paying out the nose just to be told she has a cold.
Shana has a thick German accent that, while understandable to most, confuses some of her patients.
Shana is unfortunately infertile due to an undisclosed event. She doesn’t like to talk about it.
“Fun” Shana – …Bed-Hunter any other time
Virtually any time Shana isn’t in the doctor’s office, she’s out in stockings, a tight leather skirt and jacket looking for bars and beds. Occasionally, this side of Shana shows up in the clinic, booze in hand.
She doesn’t usually tell her patients of her night life unless they ask. Women she tells usually show concern. Men usually schedule another appointment for the next day.
She once slept with a philosophy professor who lectured her as a student as a form of foreplay. Apparently it was enough to give her the ability to dispense occasional philosophical and emotional advice.
Shana has an unusual interest in Micheal, displaying an uncharacteristically emotional affection for him. He doesn’t normally return any romantic feelings, but the two have gotten together several times.